Concerning Goats and Termites

"Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good,
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today."
--"The Termite", from Parents Keep Out, by Ogden Nash

((OCC: Ruby wrote this. Tanngnjostr was inspired by her sheep Woolfgang, who did not grind his teeth, and now lives in someone's freezer.))

Myrtle was even more miserable than ever. Vera had gotten a head ache and decided to go to bed early, so Myrtle sat all alone in the tavern part of the inn, wallowing in her misfortune. The owner of the Sowburry Inn, which she and her sister were now residing, had made Myrtle leave her goat, Tanngnjóstr, outside with the horses. Without her goat, Myrtle felt lost and unhappy.

Myrtle named her goat Tanngnjostr because Tanngnjostr was a mythological goat that ground its teeth a lot. Tanngnjostr did grind his teeth a lot, and it drove Vera crazy. To tell the truth, that was why Vera had a head ache had gone to bed early. Myrtle didn't care if Tanngnjostr ground his teeth into pale yellow powder, she loved him anyway. Myrtle and Tanngnjostr were made for each other. True, most sixteen year old girls didn't have goats following them around, but Myrtle wasn't afraid to be a little odd. Most sixteen year old girls weren't witches either. If anyone had a problem with her goat, she would just give them the plague.

Myrtle looked around the dark tavern. She spied a ratlike man with a ferret hanging off his shoulder. "How come he gets to bring his pet inside?" Myrtle wondered jealously. She averted her eyes from this slimy rodent injustice. The room was filled with happy laughing people who were drinking ale and singing stupid songs about alcohol. The hearth was burning merrily, which provided only enough light to make the wood that made up the tables, walls and floor looked damp, dark, and perfect for termites--not that Myrtle knew what sort of wood termites liked to eat. She just liked the thought of the whole building being eaten hollow from the inside out and collapsing on rat-man and his ferret.

Myrtle continued her people watching. Besides rat-man, there was a little man with six fingers, a man who was missing an ear, a dark looking man with a dark hood covering his face, and long greasy dread locks hanging out of his cloak, a hunchback that was missing an arm, and a big burly guy sitting at the bar next to her who looked even more unfortunate than even Myrtle herself. There were also plenty of pock marked people. Too bad, Myrtle couldn't give them the plague a second time.